So we know a whole lot of things we want to change about her, but what are the things that make us love her? India...?
1. A full stomach, for every pocket
So the government might be intent on banning street food; but what the five-star going calls street food, is also STAPLE food for a LOT of Indians. We had a full plate of aloo-thukpa (thick, rice noodles) in Kalimpong for Rs 2. A filling plate of bhelpuri outside college cost Rs 7, jhaal mudi (spicy, puffed rice) cost Rs 10. Lemon-soda, also called banta costs Rs 5. Now in big restaurants, you get 12 pieces of button mushroom on this fancy wooden platter -- it's called Mediterranean cuisine sampling or something -- that is Rs 200-plus. Very tasty; but you'd be hungry the moment you are done with it. Oh, you are also supposed to eat the shrooms with chopsticks; perhaps to make it seem as if it's a lot to eat. Anyway. India needs everything for everybody; so while we build malls and restaurants in every colony - two in some - do we have to kill 'street food'? And yes, about Indians NOT falling ill from street food. Dudes, as a race, we have better STOCK than most and are hardier. Therefore. Not because we are fed a spoonful of dirt when we are born.
2. Ability (and allowed) to sleep anywhere
Yes, imagine, if the destitute were to be removed off the parks, the temples, the pavements, where would they go? Of course some would say it would clean up the country; but really? Or would we also become like a whole lot of other nations where you cannot step outside your house after 8 pm because someone will MUG you... and perhaps kill your for Rs 20? One loves the freedom in my country much better, thank you.
3. Taxi drivers who react to being called "bhaiya"
And give you respect. Cabs for one are one of the most common modes of public transport; and most cabbies have been very protective. It's nice. Once, when stranded near Connaught Place and a trifle scared, was offered a lift to the next auto stand by this taxi guy - this silver-haired Sardarji - who was passing by. He saw me standing and waiting for an auto and looking a bit scared; he stopped. Offered me a lift and left me near an auto stand; one having told him that taxi fare was not in budget that day. He did not take a penny from me. Happens in other countries?
4. Autorickshaw drivers who protect from eve teasers
One calls them Hero Hira Lal (remember the Naseeruddin Shah movie?) Many a times, when men on bikes or cars start following the auto or coming onto the sides and looking inside as if the girl sitting inside is blind, deaf and mute or perhaps a zoo animal... MANY a times, it has been the auto driver who has reacted. One started driving fast and we had a race with the men on bikes. Another swerved and parked his auto right before the car that was harassing and wanted to give the boys a thrashing. Ha ha. Another decided he wanted to bump the men-on-bikes OFF the road and stopped the auto, let the boys get ahead and then started chasing them. Hahaha, the dudes fled with a mad autodriver and a crazily laughing woman inside. So thank-you Auto wallahs. We have heard rape stories, but the number of auto drivers who have helped me... One owes you.
5. Bus conductors who give you their seat
Oh yes, if they see you are being bumped into by men on all sides, many a times, and not just with me, have seen Delhi bus conductors offer their seats to women passengers or old people. And we say this is an insensitive city. Shrug.
6. Churan wallahs who can barely eke a living and yet give free churan golis
Churan for those who don't know, is a mixture of digestive powders - very tasty! - often rolled into little balls or had as is. One has had a thing I have had a thing for churan since childhood. In my nana-naani's (maternal grand parents) small town, now in Chhattisgarh, this little village called Manendragarh; churan golis were called Gatagat and the churan-bhaiyya would give every kid two golis free. No matter how many we bought, it was always the ones that bhaiyya gave, saying, "aise hi bachche hain" were the ones we enjoyed most. One loves the name gatagat. :)
7. Share my seat
Love the way women in buses - strangers and when there are already two of them on a seat - will offer you a little corner to park two per cent of your left bum. But they do offer.
8. Or how, despite no advertisements, people DO help the blind cross roads.
The other day, one saw this ear-ringed dude helping an old woman, haha, she looked ZAPPED. She certainly was not expecting a bigda bachcha to help her. This generation does surprise people, no?
9. How we worship celebrities and make gods out of our actors: It's really funny. There was a time when 'movies and theatre' were more for nautch girls and nautankis. Not for respectable families. Shrug. Does that make us dumb? No. Just shows that to a large extent we are a simple people who like to believe that a Hero who is portraying good on the screen, is REALLY that. Sigh. Such wishful thinking... Almost makes us cute!
10. How you can STILL shame people
These days one does not argue with autowallahs when they ask for more than meter price or don't want to turn the meter on. One simply stands there with a sorry face and starts talking, "Bhaiiya, even I am working hard. Please don't charge so much. I know you are working hard and have to give rental. But please don't do this. I don't want to send bad wishes your way. I would like to help," and one sounds very sad. To one's extreme surprise, it WORKS! They get all grumpy and grouchy and HATE it... but mostly, they do turn the meter and take you wherever. :)
11. Sabzi mandis, local haats
Ah, looooove vegetable markets, the freshest of stuff and the vendors have all the time in the world to laugh with you. The other day, when one refused to buy kathal (jack fruit) joking with the vendors that one didn't know how to cook it, heh heh, they were ready to share recipes. Love that. Indians mostly love a good laugh.
12. How we call everyone bhaiyya, didi, uncle ji etc.
Yes, certain stats are disturbing, but even while growing up, one had bhaiyya-didis in school buses and other places who kept an eye out for me. One was ALWAYS getting into trouble with school bullies, bus bullies, playground bullies and was frequently beaten up till about 12-years-old. (Young boys are nasty, and then they grow into men!) NOT teachers, the worst they did was make me stand outside class for, er, talking too much in class. But yes, the Bullies often tried to make one cry by pinching, punching, pulling my hair. Ha ha, must have been a sight - a four-feet tall, little, round girl, standing and taking beating but REFUSING to cry. But that was only when the bhaiyya-didis were not around. Remember this didi in class 12 - was four, 9 years - Pamela or something, who REALLY gave it to this horrible boy who had stretched my right arm and was giving me 'karate chops' to see how much one could take. Man! Did that didi or did that didi TAKE his class. Hahaha, she tied him to his bag and made him run around the school playground... and made me and my friends clap. Good fun. So in a land of many abusers, THANK YOU to all bhaiyya-didis one met on the way who stood up for this little girl once. This little girl will too.
And so many more things... What's your list?
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